


How Far I'll Go

by jasmineisland



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 06:44:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3280586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmineisland/pseuds/jasmineisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was for the 2015 Reverse Big Bang<br/>Post Reichenbach Sam is desperate to save his demonic brother and will do anything to do it. But Dean doesn’t want to be saved, he likes being a demon and fights Sam evey step of the way. When he breaks free and attacks Sam, the younger Winchester is forced to fight his own dark side in order to save them both. The result leave Sam changed beyond anything either Winchester has ever seen before and help comes from an unlikely source to help save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**This was for the 2015 Reverse Big Bang**

**My artist[ **pixymisa**](http://pixymisa.livejournal.com/) was amazing. Please go give her some love **

[ **Art master post** ](http://teashopmuses.livejournal.com/87139.html)

**Thanks to Janice for being the beta once again. And Karen for listening to my constant ‘does this work?’**

****

 


	2. 1

Dean entered the church slowly, unsure of what he was really going to find. Cas had been vague, admitting that he had no idea what the effects on the younger Winchester really were. Dean didn’t remember much, but it was coming back to him in bits and pieces. He’d been determined to stop Sam from saving him, at the time preferring to remain a demon. It hadn’t mattered to him at the time what he had to do to stop his brother.  The thought turned his stomach, and his heart skipped a beat at the thought of what he’d done and said to his brother.  
  
The church was old, its walls crumbling as if a strong wind would bring them down, the dark halls hiding the secrets that Sam had spent countless hours trying to decipher. Finally, he reached where the altar had once been a beautiful dedication to a God that Dean now cursed. The light from the moon barely reached through an open wound in the ceiling and illuminated the parish hall in a haze of soft glow.  
  
“Stay back.”  
  
The voice was strained, scratchy as if from countless hours screaming. But it left no room for argument.  
  
“Sammy?” He approached slowly, fearing that he would spook the other man into running.  
  
“I said STAY BACK!”  
  
Shaking his head, the older brother slowed his pace but didn’t stop. “Can’t do that, Sammy. Couldn’t leave you in the Cage. You think I’d leave you here?”  
  
“You have to. You have no idea…..”  
  
“You’re right. I don’t. But until you face me and show me exactly what’s going on, I’m not gonna know.”  
  
A stifled sob reached his ears and he stomped down any trepidation. His little brother needed him. And whatever had happened to him was a direct result of what he’d done to save his big brother. Walking swiftly, he moved  past the opening and around the altar. Finally reaching his target, the sight made his heart skip a beat. Crouched forlornly, his brother was turned away from him. From his back sprouted wings. But not like the single pair of wings he related to the angels they’d met. His brother actually had two distinct sets of wings protruding from his muscular back.

 

 

After the last dose of consecrated blood, Dean looked like he was ready to give in. Afraid to hope, Sam moved closer and kneeled down in front of his brother.  
  
“Dean?”  
  
“Sammy?” Green eyes met his for a moment and dropped to the ground.  
  
“Did it work?” Wondering more to himself than the figure tied up in front of him, the hunter waited to see what was going to happen. He wished,  not for the first time, that Cas had managed to make it there. Even with fading grace, the angel would be able to tell if the cure had worked. But the former angel was on some kind of mission and would be delayed ‘as long as it took’.  
  
“Hurts, Sammy.”  
  
“I gotta be sure.” After no sleep for days and very little food, he felt himself wanting desperately wanting to curl up at his brother’s feet. It had to be over. With a sigh, Sam closed his eyes and dropped his head.  
  
Before he could even process what was going on, the chair his brother was on moved and was swinging towards him.  
“Taught you better than that, Sam. Step INSIDE the trap and turn your back on a demon? Dumbass.” Still tied to the chair, Dean had managed to lift it and turn so it hit Sam squarely in the side of the head. It wasn’t hard enough to knock him out, but it did send him to the ground across the lines of the trap. That was all Dean needed. Stepping on him to get out, Dean made it to the wall and turned again, shattering the chair on the cement structure.  
  
In the time it took Dean to completely extricate himself from the bonds, Sam made it to his feet and out the door. There was no way he could take the demon while his head was still ringing. He could hear his brother’s voice echoing after him.  
“Come on, little brother. Don’t you want to play?” The Demon taunted the younger Winchester as he ran through the halls of the bunker.  
  
Trying to stay silent, Sam hid and watched Dean run by before he backtracked through the hall. Running was making the floor tilt and he held on to stay on his feet. Clinging to conciousness, Sam leaned against the wall and held his breath so he could hopefully hear where his brother was. He slipped around the corner and everything went black.  
Opening his eyes with a groan, Sam blinked blurry eyes and looked around the room. It was his room, but he didn’t feel the peace he normally felt at waking in his bed. When he tried to rub his eyes, he realized why. He was tied down.  
  
“’Bout time.” Flashing his black eyes, Dean sat on the edge of the bed. “I was getting bored. No fun to play with the toy when he’s sleeping.”  
  
Sam tested the bonds, but even as he heard his brother laugh, he knew he wasn’t getting out. Dean had been the one that taught him how to tie bonds. And the demon had no problem tying his arms tighter than his brother ever had.  
  
“Don’t waste your time, Sammy. You’ll only hurt yourself.” Leaning close enough for Sam to feel his breath as he whispered, he laughed. “And the only one around here who’s gonna hurt you is me.”  
  
“So now what? You know you can’t kill me. Unless you want to spend eternity trapped down here with my dead body.”  
  
A hand crossed his face hard enough to rock his head into the mattress below him. “Fucking bitch. Should have known you’d find a way to demonically lock me in here.”  
  
“And I’m the only one who can let you out. Sucks to be you right now, huh.” He’d had the trap down, ready with the cuffs, but he knew keeping Dean trapped wasn’t likely. So he’d dug deeper into the secrets of the bunker itself, finding out there was a way to lock down the batcave with a spell that only he could break. Even then, in the back of his mind, it occurred to him that it might be the only thing that kept him alive if his brother did manage to break free. And now he was grateful that he’d done it. If Dean did kill him, he at least had the knowledge that his brother wouldn’t be free to wreak havoc on the rest of the world. The only other being that could open the door to the bunker was Cas. For Sam, it was a failsafe. Cas could, and would, take care of him and his brother if it came down to it. He’d promised as much to Sam when the Winchester had called him with his intentions.  
  
“I’ll have you begging me to let you open that door, little brother.” With a smile that was more menacing than anything else, the demon moved closer. “I know your sickest secret, Sammy.” Sam smelled it before he saw it. Blood. His brother’s blood. Which was now demon blood dripping from his arm as he moved it closer to the prone Winchester.  
Sam had no idea what effect it would have on him since Hell and the trials. But the emotional response he’d always had didn’t fail him. His heart sped up, the feeling of wanting yet being disgusted by the fact that he wanted was amplified by the fact that he was tied down and couldn’t move.  
  
Even as the younger Winchester shook his head, the demon grinned and gripped his chin. With a sharp squeeze he opened the hunter’s mouth.  
  
The familiar coppery taste invaded Sam’s mouth and, as much as he tried to fight it, down his throat. Resigned to yet another vicious cycle courtesy of Azazel, and now his brother-turned-demon, Sam sighed. It wasn’t long before he realized something was different. The rush of hot power that usually flooded him was scorching. Something was fundamentally different now. The whole Hell-resurrection-trials-Gadreel/Crowley possession had made changes to him that had affected everything. Or demon blood altered by the Mark of Cain had one hell of a jolt. Either way, he felt it a hundred times more than he’d ever felt it before.  
  
His arms pulled on the restraints, but Dean just laughed. “Think I’d give you the chance to use the mojo on me, little brother? I know how it works. Give you a dose, just enough to get you jonesing for another. You’ll do anything I want to get more of the good stuff.”  
  
Sam’s entire body thrummed with the power and he laughed. “Guess you should have done a bit more homework.” Closing his eyes, he felt the ropes break and drop away from his arms and legs. Even as Dean moved closer he turned his now freed arm and the demon slammed into the wall behind him. Sam stood, facing his brother. “We’re on the clock, Dean. You’re gonna sit down and shut up until I figure out what to do.”  
  
Shaking off his surprise, Dean glared at his brother. “You really think you can pull this off? Come on, Sam. King of screwups? You gonna save me this time, little brother?”  
  
“Whether you want me to or not.” Sam was afraid the power from Dean’s blood would wear off and leave him, as he brother suggested, jonesing, and he knew he had to get Dean secured quickly. Keeping his concentration on controlling his power, he managed to move Dean back to the dungeon. With no other help this time, he threw his brother into the trap and stood back. The demon had been cursing him the entire time, profanity-laced threats coming in long streams between breaths. Now he stood, fists clenched, staring at his brother with black eyes.  
  
“Guess we all know the answer, huh? Gonna wait for Cas to come save the day again? Needed him to get me out of hell before. You sure couldn’t pull it off. Oh, wait. Was that Purgatory?” With a shrug, the demon threw the verbal dagger. “Oh, yeah, you didn’t even try to get me out of Purgatory. Needed Benny to do that.” Getting as close to the edge of the trap as he could, Dean stared into his brother’s eyes. “And you wondered why I chose a vampire or an angel over your sorry ass.”  
  
As much as it hurt, Sam managed to keep it together and stared evenly at the demon. “I know you’re lying.”  
  
“Demons lie. Yeah, you’re right. We do. But? When we know it would really stick that knife in deep? We tell the truth.”  
  
The insecurity he’d always felt when it came to Cas or Benny reared it’s head. It showed on his face, and Dean nodded. “That’s right. Every. Fucking. Time. Who got left out in the cold, Sammy? How many times did I drop you like the bad luck charm you are to run to my angel, or my vampire?”  
  
Turning, Sam headed for the door, but the demon wasn’t about to give him a second of peace. “I know you want to ask. Go ahead.”  
  
“Not asking you a fucking thing.”  
  
“Why not? I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you all the little truths I wouldn’t tell you before.” When Sam hesitated, Dean smiled. “Wanna know who’s the best?” The one thing that he knew would shatter the man in front of him. What had been between them had been just for them. They’d never said the words, but Dean knew he’d been the only man Sam had ever been with. And Sam had always believed Dean had never been with another man besides him. And the demon he now was enjoyed the power over the younger Winchester. Time to twist the knife.  
  
“Come on, wanna know how you measure up?”  
  
Curiosity piqued, Sam turned back to him.  
  
“Enthusiasm. That’s where you get all tens, Sammy. But when push came to good hard shoving and fucking?” He shook his head. “Vampires have it going the fuck on, kiddo.”  
  
“You lying son of a bitch!” Losing what was left of any self control, Sam rushed the demon and they both fell. But this time the trap held both of them.  
  
“Dammit!” Dean punched his brother and watched him slide to the floor on the edge of the trap.  
  
Shaking off the surprise for a moment, Sam spit the blood from his busted lip between the demon’s feet. “Stalemate, asshole. Now we rot here.”  
  
“But you’ll die.”  
  
“And you won’t.” Now Sam shrugged. “Haven’t been afraid to die for years, Dean. Wanted to more than not, most of those years. But you’ll be stuck here. And I’m really gonna start stinking up the joint.” He really hoped Cas showed up before that, but there was no way of knowing for sure. Staring at the outer circle of the trap, he pushed his hand up against the invisible barrier.  
  
“You ever get stuck in one of these before?”  
  
Shaking his head, Sam looked at his brother. “Guess I was still more human than demon. Back then at least.”  
  
“So how ‘roided up are you?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Think you’ll be able to slip the trap when it’s out of your system?” The demon was still plotting an escape, and he needed to know just how far he had to go.  
  
“No idea. I was purified, angelfied, then Crowley jumped me for a ride, too. Molecular level changes, and leftover grace, remember? And that’s without knowing how much of a part the demon blood Azazel gave me plays into all of it.” The idea of a devil’s trap actually being able to hold him fascinated and terrified him. Even at his strongest, if he could really call it that, when he was about to take on Lillith, he could still walk in and out of a trap at will. “Throw in some Mark-of-Cain-juiced demon blood and there’s no way of knowing.”  
  
Both men were quiet for a while. Dean contemplating the possibility of never getting out of the trap, Sam wondering when in the hell Cas was finally going to decide to appear.  
  
“Bored now.” Dean’s voice cut through the silence, but at least he’d stopped the relentless pacing he’d been doing before.  
  
“And I can do what about that?” Still seated, Sam turned to him.  
  
“You can amuse me.”  
  
The fist descended towards him, but Sam flicked his wrist and slammed the demon into the invisible wall. “Like I said. Stalemate.”  
  
“Asshole.”  
  
“Learned from the best. I can be a real prick, too.” He had no idea why he was actually engaging in this conversation, but the alternative was to stare silently at the wall, so why not? He expected to feel his body draining of the power the demon blood gave him quickly, but instead it felt like he was actually vibrating with it. The need to distract himself from what it might or might not mean was strong. For a brief moment he almost asked his broth- he shook his head. NOT his brother. This demon was NOT his big brother. He was NOT going to ask about Cas or Benny.  
  
Big brother or not, the demon knew every tell Sam had as well as the human Dean had been did. “You’re still wondering.”  
“Wondering how I’m gonna fix you.”  
  
“Conning a con? Come on, Sammy. I’m the one that taught you how to lie.” He had to get Sam to expand as much power as he could as fast as he could to find out if the blood would burn off enough to get him out of the trap. And the way to do that? Stick the knife in as quick and deep as he could. Hurt the kid until he lashed out and used up the juice.  
Knowing it was a bad idea to play, the younger man refused to rise to the bait. When he turned his back on the demon, it pissed him off.  
  
“You’re just dying to know, aren’t you.” Before Sam could register movement, the demon was behind him. “All those times Cas and I had our little secret meetings? When we’d stop talking when you came into the room? You REALLY think all we did was sit around and talk about the Apocalypse that YOU started?”  
  
The younger Winchester knew the blood-fueled power was amplifying it, but Dean’s words made his heart race and he bit his lip to avoid replying. It wasn’t true. Couldn’t be. But….  
  
Knowing he had the hunter right where he wanted him, Dean grinned. “Why do you think he always liked me better?”  
It hurt. And when Sam was hurt, he’d always leave the room before he said dumb things. Unable to leave the room, he snapped back with the worst dig he could come up with. “Bobby liked you better, too, maybe-“ His face slammed into the floor before he could react.  
  
“Watch it, you little bitch. You really want to go rounds with me?” Suddenly he was flying across the trap again. “Wow. You are a prick when you want to be.” Grinning, he saw the way Sam looked at the blood from his split lip. Staring into his brother’s eyes, he slowly licked the crimson. “Keep looking. You’re gonna have to work for the next dose.”  
  
The smell was intoxicating to him, and Sam fought the urge to throw the demon to the ground and go for it. “Shut up.”  
Knowing he’d hit a deep nerve, the demon sat across from the hunter and sighed. “Yeah, Cas wasn’t all that great, if you want the truth. Knew the mechanics of what went where, but…..just didn’t really get the whole picture, if you know what I mean.” The air literally felt charged, and Dean knew he needed to take it up a notch to get Sam to really blow his load. “But I could trust him.”  
  
Hazel eyes dropped to the ground.  
  
“Now Benny-“  
  
“Shut up. You’re a fucking liar.” Even if it wasn’t a lie, Sam couldn’t take it. Hearing that his brother may or may not have slept with the angel that dragged him from hell was one thing. If Dean and Benny really had a thing? He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he knew it wasn’t going to be good. The angrier he got, the more the power literally hummed in his veins. It wasn’t subsiding, didn’t feel like it was draining. If anything, it was getting stronger. And that scared the Winchester.  
  
Unaware of what Sam was feeling, the demon was silently patting himself on the back. His brother was shaking he was so angry. Wouldn’t take much now to completely set him off. He was resigned to a serious ass-kicking, but if it was what it would take to get out of that trap? That was fine. He’d heal. And maybe, just maybe, if he pushed Sam hard enough, the kid would wash his hands of him and he’d be free when this was over.  
  
“Don’t need to lie. Not anymore.” Deliberately taking a relaxed stance, Dean stared at Sam. “Benny had this….” He shook his head. “Can’t even explain it. The power behind it. When he had me down on my knees? Damn!” Time to finish this. Leaning closer, he dropped his voice to a whisper. “And it just made it hotter when he called me ‘Brother’.”  
Sam snapped. Everything became a blur and before he knew it, Sam was hitting Dean with everything he had behind every punch. His vision actually went white and he had no idea what he was doing.  
  
The demon was just beginning to realize he’d pushed the man too far when he felt it. Large hands were holding his head in place and he couldn’t break the grip. Sam was literally sucking on his lip, which at first made him wonder if he was about to get a pretty rough fucking. But soon he figured it out. The first punch had split his lip open along his teeth and blood was free flowing. The younger man was after the blood.  
  
Without one coherent thought in his head, the thrum of the intense power took over. It was like taking a lightning bolt straight through his body. Sam sucked as hard as he could, taking in every available drop of blood from his brother-turned-demon. It was too much. More than he’d ever felt before, and he felt like he was about to explode. Finally dragging himself away, he reacted more on instinct than anything else. With a loud yell, he slammed his fist into the ground.  
  
When the Devil’s Trap cracked, Dean could only stare for a moment. The air was sucked from the room and he suddenly had the feeling he was about to die. Crab crawling backwards, Dean got as far away from the man as he could. When he met the wall all he could do was stare.  
  
Standing, Sam looked around the room. Every muscle was taut to the point of shaking, and he could feel the power literally transforming him. Not since he’d killed Lillith had he felt anything remotely like it. But then he’d felt the power draining as he’d killed the demon. This time the power was only building within him. Turning, he saw his brother sitting against the wall. One thought went through his head.  
  
“Mine.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, Sammy. Yours.” Survival was in the front of Dean’s mind. Whatever he had to do at that point to get out of there. His clever idea, or so he had thought, had taken a pretty nasty twist he’d never imagined. Before he could move, Sam was on him. The instant the large hand wrapped around his wrist, they both felt it. A bright light that looked and felt more like fire passed between them.  
  
Running on pure power and instinct, Sam realized what he had to do.  He closed his eyes and used his mind to demand it to bend to his will.  
  
The Mark of Cain seared into Dean’s skin. Even as the demon screamed, the mark began to move. Both men screamed-- Dean with pain that was crossing the border into agony, Sam with the effort it took to literally melt the bond between them.  
  
In the next instant, it was gone. The pain, the burning, the feeling like he was melting evaporated, and Dean’s body jolted. Clear green eyes scanned the room trying to focus. Everything that had happened came rushing back to him and he had glimpses of the horrible things he’d done and said to his brother.  
  
Sam.  
  
Slowly, he dragged himself from the spot he’d fallen and looked around. His brother was standing in the middle of the room, sweat glistening on his skin, which looked like it was shifting on his bones. His breath was coming in short gasps so fast Dean was sure he was about to pass out. But he didn’t. Instead he turned and lifted his arm. The Mark of Cain glowed along his younger brother’s arm as if it belonged there.  
  
“Sammy?” The now human Winchester stood and moved slowly towards his brother. “What? You-“  
  
“Stop.” Taking a step back, the long hair swayed when he shook his head. “I… I got it.” With one deep breath, the younger man sighed. “I did it. You didn’t need an angel or even a fucking vampire. I did it.”  
  
Nodding, Dean tested a step towards him. “Yeah, you did it, Sammy. Now we have to figure out-“  
  
“NO!” It was too much. He felt like he was going to fly apart. His spine was snapping and he could feel the muscle and splitting skin. He had to get out.  
  
Fear. Panic and fear was making Dean shake as he tried again to move closer. Whatever he had done, he had to fix it. Yesterday. “We’ll figure this out, Sammy. We’ll fix it.”  
  
With a smile that was anything but reassuring, Sam stepped towards his brother. “Can’t fix this one, Dean.”  
  
It was Dean’s turn to have the lights go out.

 


	3. 2

“Dean! Dean!”  
  
Opening his eyes, the Winchester immediately regretted it. The lights were way too bright. And the annoying voice calling his name really needed to stop.  
  
“Dean!”  
  
“Shhhhh.” It was all he could manage. Hands pulled at him, and he tried to fight them. But he was too weak and soon he was sitting up against the wall. “Oww.”  
  
“I am sorry. But I found you here on the floor and you seemed to be in distress.”  
  
“Cas?” Forcing his eyes to focus, Dean stared at the concerned angel. “Sam?”  
  
“Not here.”  
  
“He…..” It all came back. Deliberately feeding his blood-addicted brother from his own arm. The taunting, the punches. The lies. No wonder Sam had decked him before he left. “Cas, he… he’s drinking.”  
  
“Your brother has been steadily increasing the amount of alcohol he consumes for several years now. Both of you-“  
  
“Not alcohol.” Guilt overwhelmed him and he closed his eyes.  
  
“Demon blood? Your brother consumed demon blood?” Cas found it hard to believe.  
  
“My brother got dosed with demon blood.” Green eyes met blue. “Mine. I did it.”  
  
A hand suddenly gripped his head and Dean was sure he was about to get smited, smote, whatever the hell angels did. But it never came.  
  
“The cure worked.”  
  
“No, it didn’t.” With a struggle and a little assistance from Cas, Dean got to his feet. “But I made Sammy think it did. Long enough to clock him with a chair and use him to get out of the trap.”  
  
“So how did he-“  
  
“I dosed him. For some insane reason, I thought it would make him open the bunker. Which I’m guessing isn’t locked anymore?”  
  
The angel’s voice sounded almost distracted as he helped the hunter to a chair. “Sam advised me of his plan to cure you. His ‘failsafe’ was that the bunker be mystically locked down with a blood spell so that only he could open it from the inside. But he sent me the spell that would open it from the outside. I got here as fast as I could and found you here.”  
“So that leaves the question, what happened to Sam? And how do I find him?” Struggling to his feet, the hunter would have fallen if Cas hadn’t gripped his arm.  
  
“I’m anxious to find him as well. But you need to clean up, eat, and tell me what happened so we know what to do in order to find him.”  
  
“Lost enough time on the floor, Cas. I have to find him.” The room spun and Dean knew his friend was right. First he needed to get his bearings, find out how many days his brother had been running around outside, and then figure out where he’d go.

 

Dean’s phone rang and he yanked it out of his pocket, once again desperately hoping it was Sam. When the caller ID showed “666” he started to put it away. But a nagging suspicion made him answer.  
  
“What the bloody hell have you and that overgrown moose done now?”  
  
“Where is he?”  
  
“I don’t know where he is, but I’m telling you, when I find him-“  
  
“Shut up. Just tell me what you know.”  
  
“We had a deal. Big brother for the blade. Now where is the blade?”  
  
Jerking the wheel to pull over, Dean slammed on the brakes and put the phone on speaker so Cas could hear as well. “Sam’s got the First Blade?”  
  
The other end was silent for a moment while Dean cursed himself for saying that. “Sam’s got the blade. Meaning you don’t. And you don’t know where he is.” Another moment for more to sink in to the King of Hell and suddenly it all came together for him.  “Ten demons. Completely decimated. If you had nothing to do with it, what the bloody hell did he do?”  
  
“When? When did Sammy take the blade?”  
  
“Yesterday.” Crowley’s voice was quiet. “So, let’s just skip the accusations and the threats and cut to it. The Blade. Was it for you or him?”  
  
If he hung up now, Crowley would figure it out. “What the hell does that mean?”  
  
It was too late. “So somehow Moose pulled it off. Not only did he cure you, I’m guessing he is now sporting the Mark?”  
  
Dean sighed and it was all the answer the demon needed.  
  
“Oh, that’s just bloody brilliant.  The fucking poster boy for dismal failure in anger management class is now sporting the mark of the first murderer. Along with being so far off the wagon he’s lost sight of the trail from what I saw. And you’ve lost him.”  
  
“Where was the blade when Sam took it?”  
  
“And why would I tell you anything now?”  
  
“Because we both know how much my brother fucking hates you. And I just might be the only thing that could save your ass if he decides to take you out. So, I’d start sharing if I were you.”  
  
“Fine. I’ll get you the address. But I’m not going anywhere near you. He’s possessive and jealous enough on his own. Now? I’m guessing he’d rip apart anything that he sees standing within a mile of you. Including that angel of yours, who I’m assuming is listening in on us.”  
  
The Winchester realized that Crowley was most likely right. Cas being anywhere near Sam when they found him was probably not a good idea. Especially after all the lies about what had gone on between them.  
  
The phone disconnected and Dean was hopeful that he at least had a direction to start to follow.

Cas appeared in the passenger seat, nearly sending Dean off the road.  
  
“Sam is sending ripples of energy that angels are sensing. I’ve received a few messages about it from Hannah.”  
  
“Did you tell Hannah?”  
  
“No. Her feelings toward the two of you are…. distant at best. It would not be in our best interest to inform her of Sam’s current state.”  
  
“If we really even know what Sam’s current state is. Do you have any suggestions?”  
  
“I was contemplating that. The Mark inspired such severe anger in you. Combine that with the blood you gave him? He could be well beyond our reach.”  
  
Stomping down the urge to punch the angel, Dean glared at him. “He is not beyond our reach, Cas. Whatever I’ve done to him, whatever’s happened since, he’s still my brother. And this is all my fault. Everything that’s happened here is because of me.”  
  
“Dean, everything your brother has ever done is because of yoy, for you, or about you. You have been the driving force - the only driving force - in his life for a long time now.”  
  
The weight of Cas’s words stilled the hunter for a moment. “I know.” His words were quiet. “I’ve always known. Haven’t always seen it. Hindsight is a real fucking bitch when you know you handled something so wrong it killed the person you love the most.”  
  
With a nod, Cas stared out the windshield. “I will be able to locate him shortly.”


	4. Conclusion

 “Sammy, you gotta talk to me, little brother. What’s going on?”  
  
Standing, the younger man faced him. “You can’t see them?”  
  
There was such a look of hope in his eyes, it took Dean a few minutes to realize that his little brother was beginning to wonder if he was hallucinating.  
  
“Yeah, Sammy. I see them.”  
  
With a nod, he turned from his brother again. “Then you know what’s going on.”  
  
“No, I really don’t. Crowley called. He’s a tad bit upset.” With a smirk, Dean moved closer. “And a lot afraid.”  
  
“Thought about hunting him down. But there was this notation in the bunker about this church, I thought maybe…..”  
  
Shaking his head, Sam spread his arms, and with them, all four wings. “But all that’s here is rubble.”  
  
There was no way the older brother could play this off nonchalantly, so he just went with the obvious. “Okay, I’ll tell ya, Sammy. Those wings are freaking me right the fuck out.” Before Sam could interrupt, he continued quickly. “But since our entire lives would have freaked most people right the fuck out, I’m not exactly shocked. And I’m not gonna run away from ‘em.”  
  
“You should!” The wings rippled during his tirade as he stormed back and forth across the crumbling building. “You see what’s happened! I have no fucking clue what I’ve done to myself-“  
  
“Now you stop right there!” Taking a few long steps, Dean moved to stand right in front of his brother. “Anything you did, you did to save me. And it worked.” Gently he reached up to put his hand to Sam’s face. “You saved me, little brother. You did it all by yourself.”  
  
“Didn’t exactly go well this time, either, Dean.”  
  
“Well, now we have to save you. Same Shit Different Day in our lives. We do it. And not by hiding out here and waiting for some fucking miracle neither of us believe in anymore.”  
  
“What if we can’t?”  
  
“We, and I quote Death; I mean, he’s pretty smart, right? We defy the natural order on a pretty regular basis, kiddo. No reason to stop now.”  
  
“You really think we can fix this?”  
  
The tone of his voice told Dean he had his brother, and he grinned. “If we can’t, we see if you can fly with these babies.” He reached out and gently grabbed one, more to show Sam how afraid of them he wasn’t. The bitchface that came his way made him laugh. “We need to figure out how to get you back to the bunker. Can you retract ‘em?”  
  
“Not a fucking Transformer, Dean.”  
  
 “Gonna have to call Cas-“  
  
The wings stretched out and the air around Sam actually felt like it was rippling. The power felt like it was literally gathering within the walls and they started to shake.  
  
“Sam!” Dean knew exactly what this was all about and he reached out for his brother. “You gotta listen to me, little brother. I remember what happened.” Both hands took the taller man’s face and he forced those hazel eyes to meet his own. “I know what I said to you and I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry I did that to you. All of it. I would kill any son of a bitch that did half of that to you-“  
  
“You weren’t you, Dean.”  
  
“You’re right. I wasn’t. I was a demon. Demons lie, Sam. I lied.”  
  
“You….” He’d wanted so desperately to believe it was lies all along, but the voice in the back of his head just wouldn’t let those insecurities go.  
  
“I lied. You’re it. The only one. I swear it, Sammy. You gotta believe me.”  
  
As suddenly as it had started, it stopped. The air stilled, and Sam sighed, letting the tension that had built around him dissipate. “I  didn’t want to believe it. But….”  
  
“I haven’t exactly made you want to trust me where they’re concerned. I know I’ve said some shit that made you wonder. But you gotta let it go. Please? Cas is my friend. So was Benny. But we didn’t… they didn’t….” He sighed, but his brother didn’t bail him out. He was going to have to say it. As much as he hated it, Dean realized he owed his brother the actual words. “I swear to you I have never had sex with another man besides you, okay? I guess I love those guys, but I’m IN love with you. Clear enough?”  
  
Sam knew it was a low blow forcing his brother like that, but the need to hear the words overrode any residual guilt over how he did it. Wrapping his arms around the older man, Sam sighed and buried his face against his neck.  
  
It was hard to get out, but the way the younger man literally wrapped around him made every word more than worth it. When he tried to return the embrace, his hands met with the wings and he couldn’t resist the urge to run his hands gently along the white ones, marveling at the satiny softness and warmth. It trembled under his hand.  
  
“We’ve gotta get you home.” Dean reached for his phone. “No sucking the air out of the room if Cas shows up, right?”  
  
The younger man shifted his weight and stared at the ground silently. When Dean realized his brother was embarrassed, he shook his head. “Don’t. I’ll take care of you. Promise. But I want to get you home where it’s safe first, okay?” When the taller man nodded, he pressed the button to call Cas. “Come on in.”  
  
The angel instantly appeared and he stared openly at the younger Winchester. When the man’s eyes dropped to the floor, Cas moved closer. “You knew there could be….repercussions for what you did. But, as I told Dean earlier, you did this for him. To save him. When even I wasn’t sure it was possible.” Reaching out, he gripped Sam’s shoulder. “We’ll find a way to fix this.”  
  
Relieved, Sam nodded. “Thanks, Cas.”  
  
“Can you manage a trip back to the batcave for him?” There was really no other way to get his younger brother back to the bunker.  
  
With a nod, the angel reached for them.  
  
When they were locked in the bunker, Dean finally allowed himself to relax. For about three seconds. Until Sam started to walk through the library.  
  
“Dude!” Dean used his arm to push the larger white wing away from the table before his brother cleared it. “Nice things, Sam!”  
  
“Shit! Sorry.” He tried to turn, but the bookcase behind him was too close. “Goddammit!”  
  
“Hold still. Let me know if this hurts.” Stepping up behind his brother, Dean used both arms to pull the wings gently back until Sam could walk through the library without destroying it. He could feel the bone or cartilage trembling while he held it.  
  
Once they’d cleared the breakables, Sam sighed and his shoulder dropped. “How can you be so calm about this, Dean?”  
Moving around to the front, Dean sighed and reached for his brother’s hands. “What else can we be? My eyes aren’t black. Nobody’s bleeding out. We’ve got generations of freakin’ geniuses and an angel to figure this out and there’s nothing breathing down our necks to eat us or anybody else before we do.” When he knew Sam was finally onboard, he sighed. “Okay, when’s the last time you ate?”  
  
“Don’t think I need to.” Hazel eyes dropped again.  
  
“Stop.” Gripping the younger man’s neck, he kissed him. “We’re gonna be okay.”  
  
They both heard the door open and turned to see who was coming inside. Even knowing the only one who should have been able to enter was Cas, they both needed to be sure it was him. The angel appeared and both Winchesters sighed softly.  
  
“I have information.”  
  
“Let’s hear it.” Dean turned to the angel, but stood close enough to Sam for their shoulders to touch. He felt a slight brush of the wings against his back, but refused to move away.  
  
“Sam, where is the First Blade?”  
  
“Still at the church. I hid it in the altar.”  
  
“I will retrieve it when this is over. But I believe we can reverse what has happened to you.”  
  
“How?”  
  
“It’s quite simple, actually. Grace.”  
  
Confusion showed on both of their faces, and Cas approached them to explain. “Angel grace. The unusual results of the demon blood was a direct result of the grace you still carry.”  
  
“You said it was gone.”  
  
“I removed the grace it was possible to remove. There is always a residual amount that will never leave you, Sam. No one would be able to remove it. And that is just the grace that Gadreel left, I don’t believe it would be powerful enough to create this much of a resistance to the combination of the blood Azazel gave you and the demon blood from the demon carrying the Mark of Cain.”  
  
“So what the hell-“  
  
“Lucifer.” Sam interrupted his brother. “I think Cas is trying to say that I have grace Lucifer left me. Archangel grace. Right, Cas?”  
  
“Yes. Lucifer might be the devil, but he is a powerful arch angel. One of the two most powerful angels in all of Creation.”   
“So what would have happened if I hadn’t been carrying all this grace?”  
  
“I think the results would have been far more unfortunate.”  
  
“Like how unfortunate, Cas?” Dean really didn’t want to be grateful his brother had been the prom tux for Lucifer.  
  
“I believe he would have been a much more powerful demon than you were, Dean. It would have led to much destruction.”  
  
“Okay, grateful to the son of a bitch now. Thanks for that.” With a sigh, Dean turned to his brother. “Doesn’t tell us how to reverse it, though.”  
  
“Actually, it does. I had to find a powerful angel willing to share a bit of their grace with Sam.”  
  
“No!” The wings stretched to their fullest expansion as Sam’s body grew taut. “No more angels, demons, or any other fucking thing putting anything else in me.”  
  
“Sam, hear him out. You know he wouldn’t take a chance with you.”  
  
Not calmed down in the least, Sam gestured for Cas to continue.  
  
“I have spoken to Hannah. She is willing to do this for me.”  
  
“Thought she hated us.”  
  
“Dean, she has ample reasons to not trust either of you. She does, however, trust me. And she will help me cure you, Sam.”  
  
“Are you sure this will work.”  
  
“Reasonably.”  
  
“How reasonably is reasonably?” Dean trusted Cas with his own life, but this was Sam’s, and he wanted to be damn sure they were about to do the right thing.  
  
“Let’s do it.” Sam’s quiet statement interrupted what could have turned into become a serious fight between the angel and his brother.  
  
Cas went to the door and opened it for the reluctant angel. As she descended the stairs, Cas yelled to the brothers. “Close your eyes!”

Opening his eyes, Sam looked around the room from where he’d apparently landed on the floor. Nothing appeared different, but he could feel it.

“Sammy?” Dean’s face appeared in front of him. “You okay?”

“Am I?”

A bright smile lit up his brother’s face. “No more wings, little brother.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Cas’s voice interrupted the moment. “I can assure you both that this is over.”

With a little help, Sam got to his feet to face Hannah. “Thank you.”

With a nod, Hannah stared at the brothers. “Cas has told me that you have saved his life on numerous occasions. He asked me to help you for him.”

“Whatever your reason was, thank you.” Sam turned to Cas. “This is over, right? No more surprises, no sudden ‘oops’ down the road, right?”

“This is over. There is still the matter of the First Blade, but I will go retrieve it. I will find a safe place to hide it.”

Startled, Sam glanced down at his arm and realized the mark was no longer there. “The grace took care of that, too?”

Cas nodded. “The combination of forces that reside in you make many things unpredictable and powerful, Sam.”

“But he’s good, right? No more mark, no more wings, he’s fine?”

“He’s fine.” Cas nodded. “Hannah, I will help you out-“

“Help?” Sam turned to her. “Are you okay?”

“I will be. It was a very draining experience for me, but I will recuperate in a short period of time.” With that the angels left the room.

As soon as they heard the door shut, both Winchesters stared at each other.

“Sammy, I….”

“You don’t have to apologize again, Dean. It wasn’t you.”

“Wasn’t going to.” Pulling his brother to him, Dean stared into his eyes. “Was gonna say thank you. What you did, what you put yourself through to fix me, even after the things I did-“

“You’re my brother.” He reached out, gripping the back of the older man’s neck and pulling him so close they were sharing breath. “But you are so much more. Christ, Dean, you are everything to me.” Kissing Dean softly, he sighed. “I’d do it again. All of it.”

“I know. No matter how many times we both say we won’t, we always do

“So, let’s stop making each other do drastic things to keep us alive.”

They kissed for a few moments, but Dean pulled back a little. “And how do we do that?”

“We stop fucking dying.”

“I can get behind that.” With a bright smile, the older Winchester tugged on the younger’s hand. “Now there is a burger and a shower with your name on it.”

“Nah,” Sam wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. “I’d rather start with the bed with our names on it.”

Sharing a hot kiss that involved a lot of teeth and tongue, Dean laughed. “You’re just full of good ideas tonight.”

 


End file.
